2020 – The year of taking chances

20-20!! sounds very futuristic!! People thought that by 2020 there will be flying cars, and robots ruling over us, dystopias, etc. but here we are, just another year on this lonely rock floating through space!!

As for me, 2020 comes with new challenges to take on, opportunities to grab, and chances to take!!

At the beginning of every year I’m full of determination, energy to take on the new year, and take on the world with it! But this year is down, I was dragging my heels to write this post, and the last one.

I’m approaching 2020 with caution, and sense of reverence. So many things are setting off!

I’m exploring my sense of calling and vocation, and this on its own is quite intimidating!! When Moses was called by God to lead his people out of Egypt, and into the promise land, he actually never made it!! A calling and a vocation can be very expensive in terms of time, energy, and sacrifices, and the only thing guaranteed is that the reward won’t be in this lifetime!!

For those who don’t know, in Jan 2019, the Egyptian authorities refused to renew my expired passport, nor issue me with a new passport on the grounds of my gender transition, which effectively makes me stateless, and complicates all the immigration paperwork I ever need to do. Which is bringing me a massive sense of anxiety.

Many things need to be done within a very short period of time; I’m about to move house again with in 2 months, which requires a massive downsizing, and lots of storage space, things to be sold off or given away, including but not limited to my beautiful red car (Janet), dining table, computer desk, double bed, TV table, giving away the cat that accompanied me for the past 18 months, and hopefully getting a new job fully outside my comfort zone (which requires a visa transfer), ILR to apply for in June (Indefinite Leave to Remain – Permanent Residence) which requires 2 exams to be taken (English Language, and English History!), once the ILR is successful, I need to get me a travel document so that I can travel around again outside the UK either for work or pleasure, and potentially being put forward for a selection panel for ordained ministry!!

And in addition to this, I’m taking a very bold move to hopefully get my kids to contact me directly away from having a proxy of my 1st ex. But it’s literally taking my chances, which will bring a radical change, either to the better, far better, or far worse, no middle ground!!

2020 is kicking off with lots of things changing at once, love life, career, faith, community-centric life, immigration status. And all these facets are involving taking chances, taking risks, and willingness to make the best of everything.

I’m look at it all as investments for the future, laying down the foundations of a stable life. And like any investment, it will either boom and bloom, or fall apart in pieces.

2020, is the year of taking chances, is the year of rapid changes, and the year of taking high stake chances.

But I’m sure that God will be there with me, to help me, and guide me. I’m relying on God to be my vision, my true might, my light, and my treasure.

In 2020, I want to emerge from it saying “It has been a splendid year”.

In 2020, I want to be able to hear my kids’ voices for the 1st time again in 4 years.

In 2020, I want to relaunch and re-invent and re-ignite my career.

In 2020, I want to commit wholeheartedly to those who love me and I love them back.

Celine Dion’s Taking Chances sums it all for me quite nicely!!

2020, you’re coming in hot, fast, and rapid. You come with high stakes, and new challenges, chances, and opportunities, and I aim to live every day to the fullest equipped with my trust in God, and his faithfulness. I’ll aim to strengthen those strong connections built in 2019, and to reconnect to those who I lost.

My God, be with me.

Love,

Nour

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